It was the fall season and the times of need to serve my
country has a soldier. With the strength of my country and the pride of
the Military, it was the opportunity of a life time to explore the world
and challenge myself mentally, physically, and spiritually.
In that moment of time, I was to be married to my first
wife but to leave on active duty for training 14 days later. The day came
were I arrived at the military transfer point. I got on the bus to the
base. It was a whole new world with different structures I have never seen
or heard before. It was Fort Bragg, North Carolina, the United States
Army.
Standing in formation listening to the drills and
observing the conduct of becoming a soldier. It was then that the journey
began. Getting the shots of the world to overcome any illness that we
might be subjected too. A line if you will, with a shot in each arm. Were
at the time continuing the world of the military.
It was a beginning to another dimension. Has we got
prepared and was issued our gear, we had completed that portion of the
Welcome. We then transferred to different base in Georgia named Fort
Benning. A place of which was like no other. Military personal like I
never saw before. The training was about to begin.
Getting our assignments we discovered our home for the
next 13 weeks. No family, parents, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles,
nothing but a world of Infantry. The Army was the new world of which we
were being trained as a soldier.
Standing in formation getting drilled everyday, doing
physical exercises every morning, having a class room of learning and
studying and many other important factors.
Wanting to quit but kept on going, wanting to just give
up, wanted to break down and cry, wanting to just go off on the personal
but not looking at the whole picture. Running, waking up anytime of night,
having the duty of other areas, eating in the mess hall, standing so long,
class room, memorizations of duty. Each day brought something new and new
challenges that awaited us all.
In that moment of time were all the emotions felt like it
was resting on my shoulders, I started to break down and become a
completely rebuilt, stronger, determined soldier. Then I broke down again
and again physically, but kept on going. I couldn't use the word
"can't", a word that didn't exist. Then it came apparent I was
getting worse and found myself in sick call. I was released each time and
developed a attitude that made me weaker by the days.
What had happened to me? I acted like some one else a
different person. I felt alone. And I'll never again get into a argument
with my personal. Suddenly I saw my self going into sick call over and
over again with different injuries that had taken place with in my body.
Each time I went back, I trained more and more, I was determined to
overcome the feeling of pain. The personal would not allow me to stop. I
kept going. Then it started, a new level.
Sitting outside on the bleachers getting demonstrations of
various things. Learning more and more. Suddenly I fell from the bleachers
but realized that a fellow soldier had tripped me deliberately were I came
crashing down on my left side of my stomach. Immediately after a pain I
never felt before but I got up and continued on. Later that night
discovered the worst site I ever saw on my body were it was so black and
blue I couldn't comprehend what to do. Then another soldier had seen me in
the shower and all heck broke loose. I was reported to the personal, I
just told them I fell of the bleachers during today's demonstrations. I
was brought to the hospital were again I was released.
With the days and weeks passing by, the pain of my body
persisted but I kept on going because I new I could do it, I had to do it.
Then during a long road march and full gear, I went down again and again.
I got up and the personal saw that I was in obvious pain and I was told to
keep going, I was real far behind from the rest of the soldiers. It was
either to catch up or get in the truck. Suddenly out of the blue I got up,
and ran and ran like I never ran before. I kept on running and didn't
stop, passing by all my fellow soldiers back to the barracks. I didn't
feel anything anymore.
Then a new sick call kept coming up but I always returned.
But a few days later I was getting worse again were I was a profile of
lite duty of no training for a few days, but that action was over written
by the unit personal. I had to train. So I did with a attitude and I let
the personal know it. They didn't care to hear it or what I had to say.
Again during exercises I was to get down in the foxhole but to first check
for any snakes or other matter to clear it before jumping in. It was
clear, I jumped in. A sudden pain on my right side and my lower left was
greatly effecting me physically. Again I was told to report to sick call
were I informed the doctors that I was taken of the profile. But the
profile was reissued and ignored by the unit personal. Well to say the
least during another march I went down and didn't get back up. But I don't
know were the strength came from I made it through that fateful day.
I was to report to the sick call once again were things
were getting apparently worse but after telling the doctor, what had
happened, he then issued another profile to not train period. I remember
clearly what I said, "sir, with all due respect what's the use, the
unit personal will just take me off it again". A Chief Warrant
Officer wrote the report and issued the profile with restrictions to hand
to the unit personal. Finally it was honored. I was to perform lite duty
skills maintain the unit and do special duties pertaining to our units
goals and objectives. In between doing that, I had to under go further
testing to see what is causing the pain. After the tests were complete I
was hospitalized after returning to training again. I couldn't go on, and
I had tried everything I could to overcome my pain and injuries.
I had crutches to assist me. It was so hard because I
wanted to continue in my mind but physically I couldn't. A day came in
which I had a pass for 2 weeks to recuperate and a surprise to go home
over the holiday's. I did. And I'll never forget the look on my dad's face
when we saw each other. Wow, Dave, look at you, he was so proud, darn you
look great, and so rebuilt, but why the crutches? I explained but enjoyed
a time at home. What about my wife? She's home or at work, oh ok. I got a
ride home, were I waited till she walk in the door and saw me. She was
excited and couldn't believe it. But it turned out bad for the both of us.
She wanted to get high and I didn't want any part of it. So I gave her a
choice and asked, do you love me? no answer, do you want a divorce, she
replied, yes. Right then I packed what I could and left right there on the
spot but returned after she had left the apartment to gather a few things.
I couldn't cope with the reality of the civilian world. I turned to
another form of defense and became aggressive towards ones self and just
laid there pondering the events of which I was going through.
Later I was to report back to my unit, were personal
noticed a type of self destruction, were again I was admitted into the
hospital for evaluations. Besides discussing the issues, I was recovering
both from my physical injuries and the emotional injuries I had sustained.
I eventually was released back to my unit for lite duty only and it was
honored.
The day came, I had my new orders to be discharged back
home. What? Why? I don't want to go back, I want to stay here and over
come this. I had no choice. I had to return all my gear and couldn't keep
anything like I was being stripped of my military existence, I couldn't
keep nothing, I was pretty upset because I lost my lighter, my infantry
ring that was expensive everything and my two awards I earned, the only
thing left was memories then was discharged.
Let me first say, I loved the Army and I will never
look down of the opportunity that I had, I took great pride in what I did
and I learned a valuable lesson and till this day we have the best
military personal in the world right here in our United States of America.
But has I continued in back in the civilian world I had to
overcome and adapt to living again. It was a hard adjustment, no one to go
to but family. No wife to hold on too. But my wife had saved all the money
I sent home to her and didn't spend anything, that was a honor in which I
never had the chance to thank her for even though I tried to contact her
and I did but always kept my emotions at check.
Later I discovered that the military had treated me and my
records like I didn't exist. I continued to go through physical discomfort
and pain. But it didn't matter. i went to the VA Hospital (Veterans
Administration) to get further treatment. But the doctors there didn't
really do anything for me. My dd214 discharge papers didn't even have me
as a medical discharge or a honorable discharge but rather a
uncharacterized discharge and I wasn't entitled to anything related to the
military. I was pretty upset and till this day I still am.
So I ventured out to a new avenue of help from the
government to get this matter straighten out, it didn't matter.
Appointments with the VA doctors came back all degenerative. I appealed
decisions for over 9 years and lost every appeal. I wrote numerous letters
but it didn't matter either. And what was always told to me, that I missed
the active duty deadline by 2 days. 5 months 28 days active duty missed by
the discharged.
So what do I have to show for my experience in the Army?
Time will tell. I tried everything I could and was denied any and all
accounts of my military service. So what does the government do, nothing.
What can I do about it to change it, nothing. Am I still suffering, yes.
I'll leave this story as, what is the Political party
doing about soldiers who have tried to reach out but continually gets
ignored or the run around? Well here's my story and it is true.
David Carlson
Silverboon Tidbits Official Online Store
